Masculinity is in chaos.

Most of us are taught as we grow up (by family, media, etc etc) to be ashamed of our aggression and our sexuality.

We are confused about our roles in the world and in our families.

In the clip bellow, Louis CK lays out this masculine confusion in a candid radio conversation.

Excuse his language, and the obvious marital problems he and his wife had that go far beyond gender roles. Listen instead to his frustration.

He instinctively knows that the “provider husband” is a positive archetype, and one that he is manifesting for the good of his family. And yet, he’s made to feel ashamed (like a “male chauvinist”) for even bringing it up.


I’m not suggesting that the men of the past was necessarily better, or more psychologically healthy. The Vikings were unashamed of their aggression and sexuality, but they made a lifestyle out of thievery, destruction, and sexual attack.

However, has our fear of negative masculinity lead us demonise even its positive expressions?

What can you or I do to become a “real man”, in the 21 century?


Manifesting Powerful, Constructive Masculinity

Carl Jung noticed recurring “archetypes” in human myths and legends. Much like the Hero’s Journey, these archetypes point to deep psychological truths.

These archetypes recur over and over again because we connect to them, and we connect to them because they speak to us about our hidden inner psychology.

I first heard of Jung’s four-archetype model from this video (clipped):

I immediately grabbed the leading book on the subject and started devouring it.

I love what I’ve found, so in my next few emails I’m going to crunch the salient points of the main aspects of this model.

  1. Boy Psychology vs Man Psychology (busting out of the modern epidemic of “men” who are still boys)
  2. The King (the central, organising, authoritative archetype)
  3. The Warrior (selfless, fierce, and singularly focused an a goal larger than the self)
  4. The Magician (master of knowledge and technologies)
  5. The Lover (connected, empathic, passionate, and sexual)
  6. How to develop these archetypes within yourself, and hopefully become a more self-realised man.


Stay curious,

– James